Exploration
In My Gut
Story
When the dead are gone, the living are left behind with grief and many untold things. Vietnamese tradition allows one to grieve during the funerals. We can cry, scream, and lie on the ground, calling for our loved ones’ names. However, after the funerals, one should not talk about the dead because such talks might make the dead linger to the physical world, thus, make them hesitant to move on to their next lives.
My mom usually says about her late father: “The pain of losing him is like tearing my own gut. I miss him, but what can I do besides keep that feeling in my gut?” If the living wants to talk to the dead, we can burn incense and pray to our lost ones. If the living are worried about the dead’s afterlife, we can burn joss paper so our loved ones will receive such gifts. However, whispering the untold things to the dead and enduring the loss by ourselves makes the pain linger longer.
This is a story of grief. A story that forces one to rip open their own gut, to pour their thoughts and their emotions out when their loved ones are no longer here.
Audiences:
To those who lost their loved ones.
Roles
Recognition
A letter to the dead...
Inspiration
Van pattern—the veil between the living and the dead:
This pattern can be found on window reliefs that separate the altar area from the rest of the Vietnamese household or on Hoành Phi—horizontal lacquered boards—above the altar.
...from the living
An Incense Letter,
that is to be ripped apart
to let the pain shown,
that gets lighter as the conversation goes
to ease the living’s grief,
that to be burned as a farewell offering to our loved ones on the other side
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